A Cancer Survivor’s Response to Maddie Russo’s Cancer Scam

Grab Your Pitchforks! Oh Wait… What?

Call it the train wreck urge. That’s when our eyes are glued to something horrific and we are equally fascinated and horrified. We guard our eyes with our hands, but we sneak peeks so we can catch all the juicy details.

That is sort of how I felt when I first encountered Madison “Maddie” Russo on my LinkedIn feed. I commented on one of her updates.

The 19-year-old beauty oozed positivity that belied her devastating diagnosis: 3 types of cancer-each with a bleak outlook. One tumor the size of a football, she reports.

Local media and a pancreatic cancer organization picked up her story. Equal amounts of tragedy and bravery.

Oh, the unfairness of life. 19 years old. But yet, her she was inspiring me and I am sure, many other cancer patients and survivors.

My mother’s heart wanted to gather her in my arms and love the stuffin’ out of her.

And then someone commented on my comment. My comment was something like thanks for being a light in a dark space. You are brave and courageous.

I reread the woman’s comment:

She is a fraud.

Waaaaaat? A quick Google confirmed the fraudulent activities of this young con. (Go ahead and look it up, I’m going to get me another cuppa.)

She was not only preying upon the sympathies of strangers; she bilked over $37K from donors on GoFundMe.

The sweater started unraveling when medical professionals noticed something was not right in Maddie land. Incorrect placement of medical items. Treatment that should be under hospital supervision was instead being filmed at her home. Inconsistencies that just didn’t add up.

The tug began and the sweater quickly turned into a pile of yarn.

Where to begin addressing this?

First outrage. I’m the type of gal who often will stop reading a train wreck story because I can empathize a little too easily. Especially after having had cancer myself.

I felt violated. I gave her compassion freely…emotional energy. And it was all a lie.

I feel more outrage over the money she collected. One of the horrid realities about cancer is it can bring financial ruin. (Medical debt is the number one reason for bankruptcy here in the ole US of A.) And even IF your medical costs are covered (as mine mostly were) there are the pesky other costs…like living expenses that continue even though your income does not because you’re busy, you know, vomiting from chemo.

I’m one of the lucky ones in this department. My insurance covered the lion’s share of expenses. My out-of-pocket costs AND my modest living expenses were covered through a GoFundMe that raised about 8K. As a newly divorced woman, this was scary stuff.

Many women are not as fortunate. The stories I hear stir outrage in me because of the unfairness of it all. Women using credit cards to live on while enduring treatment. Single moms dealing with aggressive breast cancer and a spouse that walks away in the midst of it. Denials of disability benefits for others unable to work and support themselves.

My situation feels formidable enough. And not to compare (yet I will) or diminish my travails but I have had cakewalk compared to the suffering of some of my pink sisters.

Oh, how many of them could use the cash infusion that thieving woman took?

It looks like this young lady used some of her spoils to purchase a nice car (which has since been seized). And to think I’m driving a car with 211K miles and also brings a dose of anxiety every time I get behind the wheel. (Will this get me across town today okay?)

The opportunities to be enraged are plenteous.

But I’m not going there.

Yes, I’ve felt anger and outraged at having been played.

Instead, I chose to consider the question:

What the hell happened to her?

Looking on the outside, it’s easy to think she’s got the world by the tail. Attractive, smart, articulate.

But something went sideways in her psych that she was able to foist such a lie while smiling into a camera and collecting money from generous people.

Is it narcissism? A Munchausen-by-self? Is she just a selfish asshole? One professor opined that it may have been financial pressure.

Perhaps she will get a thorough psych eval and the mystery will be explained.

Regardless of the etiology of her behavior, the question I must ponder is this:

How will I respond?

Is it time for pitchforks and swords? Blast away on social media, adding yet another enraged screech into the angry cacophony?

We are a culture that love a good comeuppance. Only it’s via the social media town square, especially anonymous social media. It’s like a virtual tar and feather.

It’s about time. Serves the bitch right. I hope she gets what she deserves.

Oh yeah. It feels so right. So justifiable.

Pondering Jesus’ words-do we repay evil with evil? What does turning the other cheek look like especially when an entire population has been bitch slapped?

It is incumbent upon us to consider our response to this because I believe Russo is a bellwether and a portent of more fraud to come.

First, my own sobering acceptance of my shadow. Those parts of me where I hold shame and keep sequestered from conscious awareness. This is where there is a part of me that…. wait for it…could do the same exact thing she has done, given the right circumstance and opportunity.

I can hear the blustery defenses.

But I would NEVER EVER do such a thing!

Dear friend, you and I are capable of doing such a thing. Nobody (unless they’re one of the few honest-to-goodness pathological wackadoodles) dreams of becoming a thief and robbing people.

The more outrage, the more you’re touching something buried in your shadow, according to Carl Jung.

Pot, meet potential kettle.

I have my little games that I play too. There are stupid shameful things I think and do, from the banal, like seizing a parking spot before that other asshole gets to it, to sucking up to someone because they have something I want.

The only difference is I have learned behavioral guardrails and have been loved enough that I can chose differently. And even then, I still fuck up and do things I am not proud of.

There’s an asshole in each and every one of us. It is a lifetime’s work to learn to love that inner asshole into wholeness and health.

Second, this woman illustrates the breakdown of our culture.

We are wired with a need for connection and belonging. Something that our culture is void of anymore. We live in a gray twilight of conformity and meaningless drivel.

To shit in one’s own bed indicates something is seriously wrong. And this young lady has taken a dump not only in her own bed but our collective nest.

This is a symptom of unmet needs somewhere. A person who feels love and belonging doesn’t violate others. (Yes, yes, I know there always seems to be exceptions.)

Was this a cry for attention? I would guess this plays into the equation as well.

Just look at social media for the extremes people go to trying to outshout the next guy.

Do we turn the guns on her parents next? How far back do we go with placing blame?

As a culture, we need to take some collective responsibility here. While we’re busy shopping and staring into our phones, people-our loved ones- are suffering. We must take an honest appraisal of how seriously ill this toxic culture is making us.

What about the money? College kids today see the shit sandwich they are inheriting. Inflation, tuition costs that turn students into indentured servants for the rest of their lives, and anger over not being able to get the shit the marketing masters dangle over our unhappy lives.

I’m not excusing her behavior one iota. She fucked up. She hurt many people.

I hope she is held accountable to the law and provides restitution to the people she defrauded.

I recoil at the thought that, in true American fashion, it’s not unlikely that her story will get turned into a movie so we can gasp in horror and revel in her downfall.

But before we turn our weaponry on Maddie Russo and the others surely to follow in her example, we must first examine ourselves lest we fall on our own swords.

And perhaps use this as a reminder to reach out to those surrounding you-in real life-who are in need of help. For starters, I can guarantee you won’t have to look long and hard to find a suffering cancer patient.

Go bring them a casserole. Fill up their gas tank. Drive them to an appointment. And yes, donate if the need is there and you are able.

These are the sort of grassroots activity we need to treat what ails us.

We must lay down our retributive anger and find a way to respond that doesn’t further the damage.

Thanks so much for reading. You can find me around the internet at www.theresawinn.com, on Facebook, LinkedIn and Instagram. If you’d like to support my writing in a small way, feel free to contribute to my wishlist.