I Am A Personal Development Dropout

Are you stuck? Needing to clear those mental blocks that self-sabotage your success? Discover your unique gifts and use them to help others WHILE racking in the big bucks?

As a Certified Life Coach and spiritual director, I can help you find the answers! My program will help you find the keys to unlock success unlimited! Here’s a testimony from Mary. She went from ZERO to HERO and now makes six-figures helping the homeless!

Johnny was a flea-infested loser when he found my program, and now he’s sailing yachts in the Caribbean, living the good life! (And the man had never even been in a row boat before!)

Screeeeeeech! Full stop. I hope you weren’t reaching for your credit card. Those promises sound pretty awesome, don’t they?

The reality though, there is no program, no coach, no program that can fix your life. My observation is that those selling the promises are the only ones prospering.

And even more insulting, I don’t know shit about your particular struggle. (There *may* have been a time or two when, hearing someone’s story of struggle, that I have thought to myself, “Wow. She is really hosed.”)

I can barely get my shit together, much less help you with your shit.

I wish I could. Because then I really would rake in the dough and my butt wouldn’t clench anytime I receive a notification for the latest bill for my recent cancer treatment.

This has been my experience, anyway. I have read tons of personal development books, attended seminars, adhered to programs and uh, beat myself up because I would fall short. Every. Stinking. Time.

I could include my years in the Christian religion too where the “try harder, do better, you’re not good enough” approach was the same, only Bible verses would be cited.

This is hardly luring copy for a life coach fishing for clients. Ditto for my work for an organizer or spiritual director.

People want the easy button. They want the 1–2–3 magic program. They want a guru. A prescription.

I get it. Because that is the space I lived in for many, many years. And even now, my attention is snagged when I read sparkly copy from a life coach. Please, fix me! By all means! Buuuuut…

I have no easy answers. However, my suggestions are quite simple.

If you are unhappy with your life and desiring change, yea verily, success, here’s a different approach.

First. Self-love and acceptance is key to any change. All of this personal development stuff is really about mitigating shame, something inherent to humans. Shame is also a capitalist’s money-making machine. You’re not accomplished enough. Your teeth aren’t white enough. You’re lazy. It’s your own damn fault you’re such a loser.

Practicing self-love is harder than is looks. Nor is it a simplistic, airy-fairy thing I’m offering. Learning to change your internal dialog requires bigly change. And your ego is going to fight you at every step.

Second. You are the expert on YOU. I tell this to coaching and organizing clients alike. Within each person there lies a wealth of wisdom and truth. And this wisdom will not lead you astray.

The brokenness you feel? It doesn’t need to be fixed. It needs to be loved and integrated into the gorgeous tapestry of your life.

My greatest tool in helping people is by careful listening. Or as St. Benedict said, Listen with the ear of your heart. (This was a major tenet in the spiritual direction program from which I recently graduated.)

I don’t have the answers for what ails you, but you do. Deep listening, careful reflection with a pinch of intuition thrown in can unlock the healing you need.

Anytime I feel like I have the answers for someone else, I know my ego is speaking up.

And while I don’t understand your particular pain and struggle, I am learning about my own, and this provides the opportunity for empathy and connection. This is a secret sauce for healing and clarity.

Third. And oh gawd, I hate saying this because when you’re going through cancer treatment, people say this all the time and it annoys the hell outta me. But here it is.

You really are stronger and more powerful than you realize.

This is not a platitude. It is truth. But it is as uncomfortable as all get-out because it requires accepting responsibility for the choices we make. As well as accepting the consequences when those choices don’t yield the outcomes we desire.

This strength lies underneath all the ego trappings, unhealed childhood wounds, projections and temptations to purchase self-help programs.

Fourth and finally, surrender is the fastest road to peace when you’re overwhelmed. As my spiritual director has taught me, accepting what is instead of what if.

I’m not saying don’t dream of what if and bright possibilities. But until we accept where we are at right now, it’s a moot point.

Being told that I had cancer was one of the most bitter pills I have ever had to swallow. But after all the what did I do wrong questioning, and trying to wish it away, I learned I needed to accept the reality as best I could.

There’s a reason the Serenity Prayer is so powerful. Knowing what we can change and knowing what needs to be accepted. Recognizing some things can’t be fixed-they must be carried.

Yeah, none of this is sexy. It takes brave honesty and hopefully a friend to help you. (And you can help them too!) And this is also where a life coach or spiritual director can help you.

I don’t think I’ll get rich packaging this into a program but hey, if you’d like to send me $49.95 for my program, I’ll happily accept.

Thanks for reading! Please consider clapping (you may do this several times if so inclined!) or subscribing to my page. If you’re so inclined,buy her a coffee. Psssst by the way, I am accepting coaching or spiritual direction clients. Check out here for more information.