Stress is the Real Killer - Relax and Enjoy Your Dairy
If there is one thing I’ve learned from going through breast cancer, it is this: Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, including EVERYONES with lots of letters after their names, has opinions and ideas about what causes cancer.
It’s a minefield to navigate because convictions can turn hot and judgmental in a conversation.
Put ten oncologists in a room and I promise you they will have conflicting advice on what one should and should not do. One says don’t do dairy. Another says plant-based diet only. Enjoy your dairy, another doctor says.
Oh my. I can already hear you as you read this. You want to cite a study supporting the route you chose. OR you are citing the lack of citations as evidence that studies have not been done to prove results. And this is because of special interests and government protection to enormous industries like cattle or dairy.
China Study anyone?
Yep. I’ve read them. Watched all the documentaries on Netflix regarding the fuckery in our food industry. The dangers of high fructose corn syrup, the processed shit and the ease of food delivered in a paper sack through a window.
I am a critic of all the wrangling and dietary convictions because I think it really just comes down to this: Eat food in its original state. Limit sugar. Abstain from alcohol.
Other voices would add: No gluten, organic only, high protein, high-carb diet.
I am also a big fat hypocrite. Confession: I thoroughly enjoyed my In-N-Out burger with a handful of fries last night. Sipping merlot is something that brings me great pleasure (and a certain amount of numbing during all the stuff I’ve been experiencing.) And omg… have you checked out Trader Joe’s cookie selection lately?
Look, I get it. I am concerned about nutrition and how it can support good health. Especially after a cancer diagnosis. One of the first books I bought after the diagnosis was a cancer prevention cookbook and other books on how the writer healed his/her cancer by a total diet reboot.
It brought a shit ton of stress to me besides the cancer shit ton of stress.
My god. Should I get a juicer? Vegan cheese that’s three times the cost of dairy cheese? How do I find the time and energy to shop and prepare all this wholesomeness? Quit coffee and start drinking brewed tree bark?
And cue to another voice: You MUST make this a priority because YOU WILL FUCKING DIE IF YOU DON’T.
Yes, you hear that too when you have cancer. People are quick to suggest dietary intervention and for some, the hot winds of hell will blow if you disagree with their convictions-citing research or not. I suspect I could even draw some fire from the “enjoy your dairy” in my title. (Hello! I see you and honor your choices!)
Okay. Now let’s eavesdrop on some conversation on nutrition with some of my new favorite badass friends: Women with breast cancer.
Someone says their doctor says do XYZ. Another says her doctor said DON’T do XYZ. My oncologist said avoiding beef and dairy was prudent, by the way. My breast surgeon told me she drinks two big glasses of milk each morning because it was a quick and easy breakfast.
Who’s right?
Go vegan says one. Ten chime in that they have been vegan most of their lives and bam! Aggressive breast cancer.
Another says no dairy. Again, 10 other women offer that the cancer they developed didn’t get the memo on their dairy-free lifestyle.
This is my big concern:
Stress.
What to eat or not eat has turned into a big fat, hairy cortisol event. (Cortisol is one of the stress hormones.)
Now here is something I think EVERYONE agrees: Stress is a killer.
It will exacerbate autoimmune conditions, accommodate cancer cells to grow and set the table for heart disease.
What a great opportunity to go full on anxiety attack every time you eat a meal.
And while I’m at it. Even the admonition to “stress less” becomes yet another thing on the already weighty to-do list. The other day, I could feel my butt clench when I said, “I NEED to get my stress level down!!!”
I NEED to clean up my diet! I NEED to… fill-in-the-blank.
Diet critics, please don’t judge me too harshly, but like so many other things, I am learning to surrender. I have found surrender is my path to peace. This is what it looks like with my self-care:
I am accepting of the fact that with cancer, there is no guarantee that what you do or don’t do is going to create it or bring a recurrence. Cancer is a willy son-of-a-bitch and will laugh at your absolutes.
Eat carefully, yes, please. Fresh veggies. Lean proteins. And while I am not a milk drinker, the half and half I put in my morning coffee is non-negotiable.
I accept the fact that I am going to die. And while statistically, the cancer I had has a low recurrence rate (because I did the chemo), I am also acutely aware of how vulnerable and fragile our bodies are. A brain aneurism or some weird superbug can take me out tomorrow. Oh, and of course there is always Covid. So far, I have escaped Covid; it is something worrisome to one with a post-chemo compromised immune system.
I find what works for me and stick with that. Fried food doesn’t agree with me, so I eat very little fried food. Salad and Go is my favorite take out place. But I also love me an occasional In-N-Out cheeseburger, animal style.
I also keep my mouth shut and try to be supportive of others who dietary choices differ from mine. Nothing like watching a pissing match between ardent dairy/no dairy camps.
We all want the same thing: health and happiness.
If your choices create a peaceful path, do that.
If your choices are driven by “shoulds”, reconsider things because you don’t need to “should” on yourself. You have enough stress.
Love and grace for yourself, regardless of your diet, is always a healthful choice.
Theresa Winn is a certified life coach and spiritual director. She loves being flat and cancer free. Her next book, “Bye-Bye Boobs-Breast Cancer, Boobectomies and Badassery” is in the works. Consider buying her a bottle of three buck chuck from Trader Joe’s.
