The shadow test
I got it and you got. We all got. A SHADOW. That’s what Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, Carl Jung called it. It is a symbol that represents the hidden side of every human psyche. The Shadow comprises hidden aspects of each person’s personality that are deemed as “unacceptable,” and tucked away into the hidden parts of their mind.
Hidden parts of the mind mean this stuff is subconscious; you are not even aware of it. Oh, it pops up and announces itself and dammit, it’s annoying. Why? Because we don’t like reminders of our shadow. We don’t like reminders that I, a paragon of virtue, light, and love…. have an inner asshole.
Yes, I am light and love and all that good stuff. But I am also judgmental and struggle with rage regularly. I cuss at people from the safety of my car when someone dares take MY parking spot.
I, and you too, would just assume that we’re all hunky dory and we would never, ever harbor thoughts of misbehavior, betrayal, and selfishness, much less DO those things.
Simon and Garfunkel said it, Hello, darkness my old friend. Yup. That’s the shadow. And this is what I like to think of as the shadow test.
Anytime you say, “I would NEVER do that!” or “How COULD they?” deep down, you are experiencing the very uncomfortable feeling that yes, you too, could “do that.” Your shadow has just appeared.
Does that make your defensive hackles go up?
It’s a normal reaction.
The other day I had a conversation with a good friend who told me he didn’t want to write to a family member in prison because said prisoner had had enough chances to straighten his life out. He felt this person needed no mercy. No soup for you! 😉
My reaction to the friend shocked him. “If I had the same experiences he had, I likely would have made the same decisions and ultimately end up in the big house myself.” My response shocked me, too. Because OF COURSE, I would *never* break the law, Miss Paragon of Virtue was quick to assert.
It’s hard to get my mind around. Yes, there is a part of me that WOULD break the law, and feel justified in doing so. There is a part of me that would do all sorts of awful, given the right amount of unhealed trauma and lack of loving individuals in my world.
I am learning to embrace my shadow. To realize that ALL parts of me are okay. I just don’t want the shadow side making my decisions and calling the shots with how I live my life.
I encourage you. The next time you find your feathers getting ruffled, sit with it and ask yourself, “Why?” And the greater the umbrage, the peskier the issue in your own soul.
It’s hard work. But I am convinced that this hard work is the price of admission for a world where self-love, empathy and generosity prevail.
PS You cannot have light without casting a shadow. It’s all part of the package.
