Why Traditional Organizing Systems Fail for ADHDers
What to do instead
Introduction – My early obsession with efficiency and organization
My ventures into the world of organizing started at a young age. I read the book “Cheaper by the Dozen” and was captivated by the tales and adventures of the Gilbreth family which, surprise, had 12 kids. No, I wasn’t interested in having twelve kids myself. But what captivated me was the dad, Frank. He was an efficiency expert and as part of his life’s work in industrial engineering, his home became a living laboratory on how to do things more efficiently without skipping quality.
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I was hooked and began my own experiments with efficiency. Can I brush my teeth while reading a book? Why, yes, I can. Can I make the bed in a more efficient manner? Affirmative. Even teaching myself guitar became a game of how to move fingers most efficiently on the fret board.
Years later in nursing school, my ability to gamify efficiency was a clear strength. I’ll never forget demonstrating clinical skills, a requirement before they turned us loose on real patients in the hospital, to my instructor and her shocked expression when I finished.
Rut roh, I thought. What did I miss?
“That was the most efficient demonstration I have ever seen,” she said.
So yeah. I dig this stuff. (Provided I don’t go overboard and give myself an anxiety attack.)
From that early age, my ADHD brain saw the connection between efficiency and order and the help it could give my brain to focus. This helped me create an environment that was peaceful. (As peaceful as one can have in a home with 7 kids!)
A calm outer environment helps me wrangle the spinning chaos in my head.
As a young mom, I continued honing my skills and eventually started helping out fellow young moms declutter and figure out systems to help them run their homes.
It’s likely I did more things wrong than I did right back in those days.
Things like assuming what worked for me SHOULD work for them. And encouraging (ahem maybe strong arming is a better word here) to part with things they were not ready to part with.
I’ve learned a lot from those days. Additionally, my training as a life coach and spiritual direction granted me a broader understanding of how a one size fits all approach, actually fits few. Very few.
Especially if you have ADHD.
Organizing Challenges for ADHD are Unique
The super power that is ADHD is a two-edged sword. We are git-shit-done people and can come up with 12 brilliant ideas while others are laboring over coming up with one. Of course, executing any of those 12 ideas is another matter but you get my drift.
Here are some specific ways our ADHD can make organization a challenge and how to address them.
Overwhelm: When your brain is turbocharged and running all out, all.of.the.blessed.time, overwhelm is just a breath away. It’s not because you don’t have a good grip on your mind or that you have a character flaw.
It’s a wiring issue. As I told one doctor, I wake up spring loaded in the morning. It’s great for getting things done. It sucks for learning how to calm down and not get overwhelmed by overwhelm. And the clutter remains untouched. The struggle is very real.
Honor yourself when overwhelm begins to creep in. In order to nip it in the bud, the first thing I do with clients before we start organizing is to box breathe. Breathe in four counts, hold four counts, exhale four counts, hold four counts.
It is incredibly effective in disarming overwhelm and I encourage you to use it as often as needed.
Emotional Decision-Making: This is an aspect of ADHD I was unaware of. I made a couple of purchase decisions a few years ago that left me wondering later, WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING? Not only did it cost me money I could not afford to lose, it was embarrassing. (If you must know, it was a piece of shit van I thought I could fix up.)
I’m all for including emotions in the decision process as long as is informed with solid reasoning. Additionally, I always encourage people to not make any major decisions when emotions are running high. It might seem like a brilliant idea in the moment until the consequences come home to roost.
And this is why the Marie Kondo “spark joy” approach doesn’t work because for ADHDers, EVERYTHING can spark joy.
When it comes to organizing, the easiest way to counter this is to start with items that hold no emotional charge, like things that are broken beyond repair.
Maintaining Focus: I laugh at the “attention deficit” descriptor of ADHD. When an ADHDer is locked on with a passion project, there is absolutely no attention deficit present.
On other practical things in life, like maintaining an orderly home, not so much. The lack of focus means that instead of accomplishing the one task you set out to do, you become a human Roomba, wandering about pell mell, bumping about randomly until the battery runs out. Sound familiar? Sure, you may cover a lot of territory, but the one thing you wanted to do remains unfinished.
By using a timer and breaking things into small tasks, you will build your focus muscles. And speaking of time…
Time Blindness: Many ADHDer’s struggle with estimating how long a project will take and this can lead to discouragement. You thought it would only take an hour to get that linen closet sorted but three hours and multiple distractions later, it’s still a mess.
Time blindness can keep us from setting any goals as well because there is an all-or-nothing perspective that keeps you from tackling bigger projects, knowing it will take significant time. But alas, you never address it because the thought of it is too overwhelming.
Again, the use of a timer will support your efforts.
Breaking Up is Hard to Do: But I might need that one day!
Ah yes. The “might need” battle cry has built many a pile-o-stuff bunkers. And then, on the rare occasion that you may need the attachment to the mixer that went down in flames 20 years earlier, you can’t find it because it’s buried.
The irony of this? A person buys duplicates of an item because they can’t find the other three, they just know it is around here somewhere.
This isn’t just and ADHD thing either. If you are a boomer or Gen x, it’s likely you were influenced by a grandparent who went through the Great Depression were hanging onto items just made sense. But keep in mind this was at a time when material goods and creature comforts were minimal.
After World War II, the age of consumerism took root, aided by developments in mass production, the science of marketing, easy credit and post-war economic growth.
Today, we are awash in stuff. And we are reluctant to part with any of it.
Sometimes the “have you used this in the past few years” can help someone loosen their grip.
A better question at times is this: “Did you have opportunity to use this item but chose not to?”
Impulsivity: Recreational shopping and ADHD are oil and water. Recognizing this is critical because the ultimate way to stop clutter is to quit bringing it into the house.
Yes, I know it’s a great bargain. Yes, I know the item set your tail wagging and you’ve simply got to have it NOW.
I am not shopper so I realize I can give kill joy advice here: just don’t go shopping. That’s helpful huh? NOT!
If this is your challenge, I encourage you to make a list before your shop and focus on your objectives. And be sure to shop with cash only so you do not dishonor your commitment to your budget.
Conclusion – ADHD and Organization Can Go Together!
It’s a common trope that ADHD and disorganization are like peanut butter and jelly. There’s good reason for this.
But I believe that ADHD and organization can go hand in hand and perhaps even become one of our super powers.
Understanding how your unique brain works is the first key. Then learning basic tools and developing new habits, and you have great potential for a trifecta victory in managing your home.
You can do this! And above all things, as you implement these strategies, give yourself copious amounts of compassion and patience. This is not a race.
Creating a peaceful home that runs smoothly doesn’t happen by accident. It will take time and work. But the rewards will far surpass the effort you take. Give yourself the gift.
You are so worth it.
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