Simple Ways to Find Everyday Joys:

How to Find Peace in Tumultuous Times

Introduction: It’s Easy to Lose Sight

Here we are on the verge of Election Day and I know I’m not the only one living on the edge of a panic attack, so great is my concern for the direction of this nation.

I even tried to write an article about election anxiety but got too amped up, so I decided I needed a softer topic on the matter. And like many others, I find myself doomscrolling or scouring the internet for assurance that all will be well.

But yeah. That doesn’t work. The voices just get into a spitting match in my head and then I get overwhelmed with despair.

I decided I needed a different approach to me calm the fuck down, as they say. (Fun fact: Never in the history of telling someone to calm the fuck down has it ever resulted in someone actually calming the fuck down.)

When my kids were little, I learned that sometimes, the most effective strategy to help them calm down was to make their world small. It was time to turn on peaceful music. Maybe bring out a puzzle. Watch a funny program under a cozy blanket.

It was a time to just step back and focus on simple pleasures.

It’s a strategy I use for myself. Especially if my day was filled with traffic and time in big box stores. So, I make my world small when I come home. (And yay me, it’s been well over a year since my go-to calming agent was a glass of wine. Quitting alcohol was one of the best decisions of my life.)

By making my world smaller, it’s easier to focus on the little things that bring joy.

Why Small Joys Matter

We all get this. But sadly, we pay little attention to it until something rocks our world or the aging process reminds us there is much less sand in the hourglass’s top than there is below. This is when we realize we didn’t appreciate those little things. Or that little irritants were given far too much oxygen and robbed us of a blessing.

Research shows over and over that taking time to reflect on simple pleasures boosts feel-good hormones while reducing stress hormones.

The key to getting into that space is to practice mindfulness. And no, this doesn’t mean assuming the lotus position and musing on a mountaintop. It just means paying attention to what you’re doing while you’re doing it. Like a mundane task, such as washing dishes.

I defer to the wisdom of Thich Nhat Hanh:

While washing dishes, one should be washing the dishes, which means that while washing the dishes, one should be completely aware of the fact that one is washing dishes.

Many times, my brain is spinning while I wash dishes or putter around the kitchen. So much so that I can walk away from the sink and leave the water running. Or I realize I just put the eggs in the pantry. I am not present with my task. Good times!

It also reminds me of those times when I am driving mostly out-of-body, my mind so distracted by the noise in my head. That’s a little scary when you think of how this is SOP for most of us navigating the highways and byways.

If you want to supercharge your efforts in mindfulness, add in gratitude. Know that for gratitude to truly stick, we need to override the negative bias in our brains. We are like Velcro for negative experiences and Teflon for positive ones. This is why it takes a good 15–30 seconds of awareness to allow those feel-good moments to take root. Soak in every precious sensation.

Soak in the delightful breeze on your cheek. Wiggle your toes around in your comfy shoes and ponder the labor of those who made those comfy shoes. Are you able to draw a deep breath? Give thanks for that too. (I have a loved one fighting lung cancer right now, so I feel that one deeply. Every breath is a gift.)

By simply paying attention, our quality of life can improve exponentially. And immediately.

Examples of Simple Everyday Joys

Here are a few of my favorite things. (Cue to Julie Andrews here.)

Morning rituals-I call it my sacred coffee time. My sister just gave me this little frother wand for the cream I put in my cup o joe and I gotta tell ya, it just delights me. While the coffee’s brewing, I zap my cream and then use my new little tool to make it nice and frothy. Mmm mmm. Coffee shop experience for pennies. And it makes my other ritual of watching the world wake up even more enjoyable.

Time in Nature-Always my go-to. Wendell Berry nails the healing presence of nature.

When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.

Music-Oh, the healing power of music! Find songs that flood your soul with hope and happiness. My “Happy” playlist is my go-to when I need to shake off the gloomies.

I also love making music. It’s hard to fret and worry when you’re counting out a tricky passage or learning a totally new piece of music. Then there is the simple pleasure of satisfaction of finally getting that tricky passage worked out. I always pause and appreciate the reward for my persistence.

Sensory Pleasures-Scented candles are one of my go-to’s. A cozy blanket. A weighted blanket if that works better for you. I keep a little stash of dark chocolate treats as well. We already talked about music so there’s the auditory angle.

Using the full spectrum of our senses to calm and soothe is a power tool.

Creative Outlet-Maybe it’s time to pick up a pencil and draw. Or paint that dresser you’ve been planning on painting for the past 5 years. If you feel a spark of curiosity toward something follow it!

Here in the 55+ that I live in, there is a vast range of new hobbies to explore. Swedish weaving, quilting, lapidary… you name it! But you don’t have to be an old person to connect to such great resources.

Check out your library or community college for all sorts of great ideas and offerings.

Connect With Others-Call a family member. Tell the grocery clerk how much you appreciate her friendly presence. Bake some cookies and bring them to a shut in. Send a card to someone just because.

And when you’re walking down the street, purpose to look people in the eye and greet them. I know, I know, I can hear my introvert friends cringing over that. But it really is helpful in reminding us of our interconnection with others.

And while our smart phones help with connection with others, it can easily become too much of a good thing. Especially if we have our noses buried in them while life is happening in real time. Put down the phone. Enjoy the presence of your companion. And give back to them the gift of your presence.

What are some of your favorite things that bring you joy?

Conclusion-The Little Things Really Are the Big Things

It’s so easy to get overwhelmed with all that is happening. We want certainty. And we want it now. But that only leads to more upset because we realize just how little control we have over the big picture.

Simple joys are easily accessible and can bring peace in the most tumultuous of times. And this goes for post-election as well. Will it bring a magic panacea for all the challenges we are facing here in the US of A? Of course not.

But by dialing back to some basics, we can reconnect with human kindness and beauty and, most importantly, to one another.

That sounds like a more hopeful step in the right direction regardless of who wins. (GO BLUE!)

And may God bless us all.

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